Death and Croissants by Ian Moore

I fancied reading another whodunnit murder mystery so jumped into Death and Croissants, the first installment in the Follet Vally Mysteries series by Ian Moore.

Englishman and early-retiree, Richard Ainsworth is the owner of a chambre d’hôte (B&B to you and me) in the fictional Val de Follet, a quiet corner of the Loire Valley in France. Richard likes a quiet life with no excitement and he mostly tends to his guests by avoiding eye contact and blending into the background. But that all changes when one his older guests goes missing, leaving a bloody handprint on his expensive wallpaper and a broken pair of spectacles. 

Richard is also a film buff and see the likes of IMDb as the works of the devil. He likes nothing better than to sit down and watch some old movies, especially now that his wife has gone off in search of a more exciting life. He's convinced his marriage is over but he's not entirely sure, well, he is but there are no lawyers involved, yet. He also keeps hens for a supply of fresh eggs for breakfasts and he's called them

This is pretty much a cosy mystery so if you like murder mysteries with minimal gore and a convoluted plot, this should keep you guessing all the way. Given the main protagonist is a bumbling Englishman, I kind of applied an image of Richard Briers onto the character and that seemed to fit quite well into the mildly comedic antics involving a bounty hunter, assassins, swingers with a bondage dungeon, the Italian Mafia, a French policeman, a small dog called Passepartout, and three hens called Ava Gardner, Rita Hayworth and Lana Turner.

I quite enjoyed it and will almost certainly read the next installments in the series. 7/10 😀

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

With the weather looking a bit changeable, we went to the cinema to see Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One, the seventh installment in the Mission: Impossible film series.

This story is a direct sequel to Mission: Impossible - Fallout and stars Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt, alongside regular IMF sidekicks Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames) and Benji Dunn (Simon Pegg) as well as IMF Director Eugene Kittridge (Henry Czerny). Also returning are British agent Isla Faust (Rebecca Ferguson), and the shady black market fixer called the White Widow (Vanessa Kirby).

The mission is to recover one part of a cruciform key, trade it to a dealer and then follow him to see where it leads in the hope that they'll get both parts of the key and find out what it opens as their superiors believe it crucial for humanity's survival. If we don't have the key, which they think will give whoever has it, will have control over a mysterious and extremely powerful AI program called "The Entity". They also really don't want it falling into the hands of Gabriel (Esai Morales), a shadowy and somewhat nihilistic enemy from Ethan's past.

Needless to say, nothing goes to plan and when international thief Grace (Hayley Atwell) pickpockets the dealer before the meet and steals one part of the key,we're on board the usuall high quality stunts and special effects rollercoaster that Mission Impossible is famous for. We get car and motorbike chases, a runanway train, a time-limited nuclear bomb disarming, lots of edge of the seat tension and a high body count of thugs and henchmen (mostly).

It's must-see for fans of the franchise and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Can't wait for Part Two. 9/10 😀

Mossneuk Wood

The weather brightened up yesterday so we went for a local walk over to the wooded path around Neilston View Car Park, which is in Mossneuk Wood on the Lochliboside Hills. I'd never heard the name Mossneuk used until yesterday when I had a shot finding out what the wood was called.

Anyway, the walk involves a trudge, and I mean trudge, up Station Brae to get over the railway line and onto the hillside. Yes, you could park in the car park but where's the health gain in that?

The Route

On the way up Fereneze Road, you get a good view back across the Levern Valley to Neilston, including Crofthead Mill and Neilston Pad in the background.

Crofthead Mill and Neilston Pad from Fereneze Road

Once you're up there, it's all nice and pleasant woodland walking altough it can get a bit muddy if it's been raining but the going was good today. It looks like a lot of the trees were planted quite recently but there are fair number of older ones as well.

Mossneuk Wood, looking towards Knockenae Hill

When you take the path off Fereneze Road, fight your way through the nettles to the main track and turn left, downhill. Follow the track down and round to the right and it'll start to run parallel to Lochlibo Road. If you like foraging, there are lots of raspberries canes and blackberry bushes on the edges of the track here in the right seasons. The blackberries were starting to ripen so that probably explains why this walk took a bit longer than usual.

In Mossneuk Wood

 

You might also see a rabbit as there are loads of signs and deer as well, although we've never seen one here. There were quite a few Peacock butterflies around and we spotted a single Small Copper butterfly but my phone is no good at close-up shots. Earlier in year and there are usually loads of Ringlet and Meadow Brown butterflies as well. Lorna thought she saw a Skipper (no idea which and it's not really their normal range) but it...skipped. More likely another Small Copper.

If you keep on the track until it starts to turn uphill, you'll also see that it continues on through the trees and you can take that as an optional extension thatbtakes you to the out edge of the wood. In that field is a large electricity pylon so, if you're averse to getting close to them, then avoid that. If you do take it, then keep to the edge of the wood and you'll find the path back through to join back with the main path.

In Mossneuk Wood across from Neilston View Car Park.

Otherwise, just keep heading uphill and back until you see the path leading up to Neilston View Car Park and take that. From there, you can cross over Fereneze Road, go though a gate and walk a short loop round the upper part of the wood where you can get some nice views up onto the braes above. Once back at the gate, cross over the road to the car park and head back downhill again.

The track will eventually take you back to where you started and There are more photos I've taken  onto Fereneze Road again, from where you can head back from whence you came. There are some more photos I've taken up there here:

The Kissing Tree on Fereneze Braes

The walk from Neilston up to the Kissing Tree on Fereneze Braes via Killoch Glen is just over five miles there and back (six if you return via Gateside), which should take you about two hours plus whatever time you spend malingering at the tree, enjoying the views or any wee rests as you go.

The Kissing Tree

The walk starts and ends in the village of Neilston, which is well-served by rail from Glasgow Central Station and there are regular bus services from both Glasgow and Paisley. There’s also a decent-sized, free car park by the railway station. There's also an option to return via Barrhead, which might suit some using public transport.

The route takes you down to the start of Killoch Glen, a stunning little gorge with waterfalls and pools, and up onto the beautiful area of woodland and heathland that is Fereneze Braes with views out over Paisley and Glasgow.

The best time to do the walk is in the spring or autumn, when the weather is mild and the leaves are changing colour. However, it can be done all year round, as long as you’re prepared for the variable Scottish weather conditions. The bracken and gorse at the side of the path can get very thick over the summer and can obscure the way, which can get a bit tricky in poor weather.

The “Kissing Tree” is a name attributed to a rather windswept Hawthorn tree that stands alone on the top of the braes. I don’t think it’s the Kissing Tree mentioned in old texts of the area (see the end of this article) as that was supposed to be well-studded with nails and this one isn’t.

Part One - To Killoch Glen

1. Starting from the old bank building, currently Neilston Development Trust, on Main Street turn left and walk along Main Street, past the war memorial and shops, then turn left into Broadlie Road.
2. Follow Broadlie Road all the way to its end and go through a kissing gate onto a small track.
3. Follow the track, curving down and to the left and you’ll see Crofthead Mill ahead. It’s an old cotton spinning and thread-twisting mill founded in 1792 but, while it's no longer a mill and is a bit dilapidated-looking, it’s still a busy industrial area. Follow the track in that general direction until you see a gap that will let you out onto Holehouse Brae.
4. Head down to the bottom of Holehouse Brae and cross over Lochlibo Road, but be careful as it can be pretty busy with fast-moving traffic. Then head up Station Brae to cross over the Glasgow-Kilmarnock railway line.
   
5. At the top of Station Brae, turn right onto Ferenze Road and follow that until you reach the bridge over the Killoch Burn, just before the water treatment plant.

The Killoch Water

Part Two - Killoch Glen to Fereneze Braes

6. After looking at the old, broken bridge just upstream, take the footpath on the right hand side of the burn and follow it up through the glen, past the waterfalls and pools, until you see the signpost for Barrhead. The route up the glen is quite steep but there are a few benches on the way if you need a wee rest.
7. Once at the signpost for Barrhead, don’t be tempted to ignore it and head straight up the side of the nearby fence as, while it is the shorter route, it’s pretty hard going and better kept for when you’re coming back down.
8. Follow the Barrhead path until you’re clear of the trees and up on the edge of the moorland. There are some steps involved and another signpost so keep along the path until you see a route leading through the fence and onto the hillside - you should be able to see a small cairn in the distance, so head for that.
9. Once you get to the cairn, the view back towards Neilston and up the Levern Valley is quite good and it's a good excuse for a wee rest. You should also be able to see your goal, the Kissing Tree, off in the distance across the moorland.

A Lonesome Hawthorn

Part Three - To the Tree

10. Follow the track in the general direction of the tree until you reach an old stone wall.
11. There’s a break in the wall, so go through that and follow the line of the wall. It’ll eventually turn right so keep on and, when you reach the obvious hole in it just past where it joins another wall, go through that.
12. The path up to the tree should be obvious from here and, once you’re there, there’s a few potential sitting spots to have a packed lunch beside it. There’s usually a rope swing hanging from the branches if you’re feeling more adventurous.
13. Just past the tree, there’s another cairn and there are some fine views to be had out over Paisley and the surrounding area as well as over Glasgow.

Keep an eye out for Kestrels on the braes. We've seen one every time we're been up there, once even perching in the tree itself.

A Kestrel, hovering above the braes

Part Four - The Return to Killoch Glen

14. Walk back down the path that got you here but, instead of going back through the wall, continue on the path until you get to a kissing gate a little further on and go through that.
15. When you reach a signposted junction, either take the right turn for Killoch Glen along a wooden walkway, which is the way the rest of this guide is going, or continue on the path to Barrhead and that will eventually take you down to Graham Street in Barrhead and very close to the railway station.
16. Take care on the walkway as some of it is in poor repair and you might as well just use the wee track beside it if it’s dry. The route takes you back up the Levern Valley above the little hamlet of Gateside.
17. You’ll eventually come to a set of wooden steps leading down the hillside a bit so take those and, at the bottom, turn right back onto the path again.
18. You’ll end up back at the top of the fence, the one I suggested you avoid following earlier on the way up, that leads back down into Killoch Glen so take that and then turn left when you reach Killoch Glen and follow the path back down to the road.
19. You can then simply reverse your steps back to the start from Part Two above or, if you like a more circular walk, then read on.

The Levern Water at Gateside

Part Five - To Neilston via Gateside

20. Turn left and continue along Fereneze Road, past the water treatment works, to Gateside.
21. Turn right into Gateside Road and follow that windy little road, which crosses a bridge over the Levern Water, often the haunt of Dippers and Grey Wagtails, until you reach Lochlibo Road.
22. Cross back over Lochlibo Road, again watching for traffic as it is busy, turn right and after a short distance, turn up Donnie’s Brae and follow that to the top.
23. When you reach the top of Donnie’s Brae, cross over Neilston Road, turn right and head back uphill to Neilston. Take great care crossing the road here as it’s on a bit of a blind approach to traffic coming down from Neilston.
24. Follow the road into Neilston and you'll eventually get back to the old bank, where you started.

This is a great walk for those looking for a wee bit more of a challenge than the average countryside walk provides. The views from the top of the Fereneze Braes are stunning, and the glen is a beautiful place to walk through. Here's the route:

 

The Kissing Tree

Here's an extract from A History of the Parish of Neilston by Dr. David Pride…

"The Kissing Tree. —From Killoch Glen across Fereneze Braes to Paisley there is, and has been from time immemorial, a footpath, or right- of-way. From this path on the top of the hill on an early morning in summer, when the sun's rays are bursting athwart the broad expanse below, one of the finest and most extensive views is to be had of the surrounding country, a view which will well repay the early riser for his trouble. Formerly the " Kissing Tree," which was well studded with nails, stood on the crest of the hill by the side of this walk, connected with which tradition has it that the swain who succeeded in driving a nail into its gnarled trunk at the first blow was entitled to claim the osculatory fee. The tree has, however, long since disappeared, carrying with it the nailed record of many victories."

You can read the full account of this entertaining walk here (it’s nearer the bottom of the page):

https://electricscotland.com/history/glasgow/barrhead.htm

…and there’s a poem about it as well…

The Auld ‘Kissin' -Tree

"THEY are gone now for ever, those dear, happy days
When I climbed the steep side o' the Fereneze Braes,
And gazed on the scenes, so lovely to see,
As I stood on the hill by the auld "kissin'-tree."
The fields were a' green, and the flow'rs were a' fair,
For the beauties o' Nature had found a hame there;
But those lovely scenes, what were they to me
Compared wi' the stem o' the auld "kissin'-tree"?
For its trunk wis well pierced wi' nails a' aroon'
By the laddies from Barrhead an' auld Neilston toon,
And even frae Paisley, light-hearted an' free,
Some cam' ower the hills tae the auld "kissin'-tree."
How oft hae I watched the lad wi' his lass
Ca' a nail in its trunk before he wid pass,
And then turn aboot, wi' a bright smile o' glee,
To taste her sweet lips by the auld "kissin'-tree."
But noo it is gone, an' I mournfully stare
At the place whaur it stood, for I see it nae mair;
An', wi' a sair heart and a tear in my e'e,
I think on lansyne an' the auld "kissin'-tree."

Hugh Caldwell, circa 1840

Heading back to Killoch Glen

Killoch Glen

This picturesque little glen and the burn are long associated with witches because, at low water, the numerous pot-holes or rock-cut basins have worn into one another, giving the area an unusual shape. Witch-related names have been attributed to some of these shapes - the smoother parts between the holes are her “floor,” and her “hearth”; while the cavities, according to their shape and depth, are her “cradle,” her “water-stoups,” and her “grave”.

“Down splash the Killoch’s wimpling wave,

As through the glen the waters rave,

Far o’er the witch’s eerie grave,

Frae crag to linn,

Yon beetling rocks, they wildly lave,

Wi’ gurgling din.”

This song by James Scadlock, an engraver born in Paisley in 1775, is a bit cheerier (only a bit though):

“The sun's now setting in the west,
And mild's his beam on hill and plain,
No sound is heard, save Killoch Burn
Wild murmuring down its woody glen.”
“Will you gae to Glen Killoch, my Mary,
Whar the burnie fa's owre the linn;
Its murmurs are dear to me, Mary,
When borne on the saft-brcathin win.”
“Hark the winds around us swell,
Raving doon Glen Killoch dell,
Where aft wi thee, my bonnie Bell,

 

Breakfast at Harelaw Dam

After a long wait due to the weather not being ideal, The group finally got to visit Harelaw Dam for an outdoor breakfast at the Harelaw Trout Fishery & Café. This one has been on the wish list for some time so the visit was eagerly anticipated by everyone and it gave Raymond a break from the cooking.

I think we had our largest turnout so far with 15 of us attending and, while Raymond has done an excellent and well-appreciated job so far arranging and mostly cooking the breakfasts himself up till now, that level of catering is getting beyond the capabilities of a home kitchen, well, at least not without a lot of cursing. Time to scale up...

 

A Nice day on Harelaw Dam

 

The reservoir was built in 1844, extending to 102 acres, and it feeds into the Levern Water, which is the same little river that runs through Neilston, joins the White Cart and eventually flows into the River Clyde at Clydebank. If the weather is good, then it's an excellent place to relax or have a meal or snack outdoors. Also, if you're into fishing, then it has a good reputation locally as an excellent trout fishery.

 

 

Harelaw Dam Fishery

 

The fishery and café is run by Ross and Sylwia, who are in turn run by dogs Alba and Lucy who are pretty much always around - It's a very dog-friendly place. If you're feeling fit, then you can walk out there from Neilston, we've done that a few times, but remember that you have to walk back again. That said, it has a wee car park and there are couple of others nearby on Harelaw Road here, here and here if that's full.

We spent a couple of hours up there sitting outside chatting and relaxing and we enjoyed a very tasty Scottish breakfast. There were quite a few boats out fishing and a couple of hopefuls casting from the bank and jetty but it was very bright y were so maybe not the best weather for fishing. The last time we were up there, Ross mentioned that they were doing evening fishing sessions and those were pretty popular during the better weather.

 

 

Waiting on Breakfast

The Neilston Men's Group is a group of local men who get together regularly to socialise and participate in activities. They're committed to making a positive contribution to the local community, and believe that visiting Harelaw Dam was a valuable way to learn about some of the outdoor amenities available to the local community while taking advantage of the good weather.

While we were there, we had a visit from Liz Highet from Mearns Kirk Helping Hands, a charity that offers a free befriending service in East Renfrewshire. She explained that the organization did, how they could help with loneliness or isolation and that they were always looking for more volunteers. It's pretty much what our wee group offers to Neilston men but they have a wider scope as regards area and gender but are more focussed on one-to-one sessions.

So, many thanks to our leader Raymond for organizing the outing and to Ross and Sylwia for the excellent breakfast. There are a few more photos of the day and more of Harelaw Dam here:

 

 

If you’re interested in visiting Harelaw Trout Fishery & Café, then here are some more details:

• The fishery is located on the Moyne Moor in East Renfrewshire, near Neilston and is easily accessible by car.
• It’s open for fishing most of the year and the café is open until 4pm.
• There's a wide variety of moorland wildlife around the reservoir. An Osprey was spotted hunting on the water several times this year.
• There are toilets, a picnic area (if you brought a pack-lunch), and a shop that also sells fishing equipment.

For more information, please visit their website:

https://harelawtroutfishery.co.uk/

Meantime by Frankie Boyle

Meantime is a dark, funny, and thought-provoking debut fiction novel from comedian Frankie Boyle.

The story follows Felix McAveety, a currently-unemployed Glaswegian of Irish descent with a bit of a drug problem. When his friend Marina is found strangled in Kelvingrove Park, Felix sets out to investigate the murder along the way, he encounters a cast of colourful characters, including a Chinese drug dealer, a radical political activist, and a former Scottish spy.

It's set in 2015, not long after the Scottish Independence Referendum where Felix is "between jobs" and hops about in a haze of uppers and downers. When he's initially suspected of the murder, he decides to solve it himself, as the police don't seem to be that capable, and manages to enlist the aid of an ex-police/crime novelist and his somewhat unstable downstairs neighbour.

Boyle's writing is sharp and witty and, as anyone that knows his stand-up or TV work will be aware, he doesn't shy away from tackling difficult subjects. The novel explores themes of loss, grief, addiction, and political corruption. However, it is also full of dark humour, and Boyle's trademark wit shines through - so much so that I immediately imagined Felix's character as being Frankie, accent and all.

I found it a bit of a difficult read as it's so laden with Frankie's off-hand commentary on everything. If you're familiar with his stand-up act or his TV shows Tramadol Nights or New World Order, then you'll know what I mean - nothing is sacred or untouchable. Being a Glaswegian, I enjoyed recognizing the places and locations in the book and have almost certainly walked past the murder scene in Kelvingrove Park many times back in the 70s and 80s.

Meantime is not a traditional crime novel, it's certainly not a "whodunnit" in the traditional sense and the body count doesn't stop at just one, but it is a compelling and thought-provoking read once you get into it a bit and I found myself chuckling fairly often. Frankie's fans will find much to enjoy in this darkly funny and thought-provoking debut.

Overall, despite it not being a cheery an uplifting story, I enjoyed reading Meantime and I would recommend it to fans of dark humour and crime fiction. However, I would also warn them that the book is not for the faint of heart. 8/10 😅

Identifying the Landscape

Have you ever been out walking or climbing and taken some photos of what you think is some stunning scenery but have no idea what hills or mountains you're looking at?

Thankfully, there are a few resources that can help with that as long as you know where you were (or are) while looking. If you don't know where you are then I'd suggest you're lost and that's a whole different problem.

How to Find Out Where You Are

If you need to find your current GPS coordinates, then that's easily done (assuming you have a GPS-capable smartphone) using Google Maps. Google have a simple guide on how to do it using a computer or smartphone here: https://support.google.com/maps/answer/18539?hl=en

There are loads of free apps that will do much the same, although most are supported by ads. A compass app is also useful, especially if you're lost.

If you have a paper map and compass, then there are some decent guides on how to use those here:

• https://getoutside.ordnancesurvey.co.uk/guides/beginners-guide-to-using-a-compass/ 
• https://www.thegreatoutdoorsmag.com/skills/how-to-read-a-map-and-compass/
  

If you don't have a smartphone or a paper map and compass, then you really are lost I'd usually suggest finding a watercourse and following it downstream in the hope that it'll hit a road. I've never been lost in a desert or jungle and that strategy won't help in either of these scenarios so your best bet then is to use the sun (climbing a tree is optional but watch out for dragons):

• https://www.thegreatoutdoorsmag.com/skills/navigation/how-to-use-the-sun-to-navigate/
• https://www.wikihow.com/Determine-Direction-Using-the-Sun

Identifying Them Thar Hills

Okay, you know where you are (or were) and we can move onto identifying what you're looking at. Again, a smartphone or computer is the best way to do this but it can be done using a paper map and compass like we did years ago and I'm not going to describe how to that here.

These days, if I'm outdoors I'll try the PeakLens (Android) or Horizon Explorer mobile apps (Android and iOS). Sadly, the PeakVisor app is iOS-only and the PeakFinder app is not free. All of these apps will try and identify what you can see via your device camera using augmented reality.

If you've taken some photos and are enjoying a cup of hot soup or coffee after a day on the hills and are wondering what you're looking at, then here are a few online apps that can help identify any mountains, peaks or hills in them:

• PeakVisor Explorer - the app isn't available for Android but you can search here.
  
  

  

  Panorama from Neilston Pad
  

  
  
• PeakFinder - the app isn't free but the web app will let you search by name or GPS coordinates.
  
  

  

  Panorama from Neilston Pad

  
  

• Generate a Panorama - lets you generate a panorama given location and direction.
  
  

  

  Panorama from Neilston Pad